Personal Testimony

(a testimony of a person who became a Christian early in life)

There is a Charlie Brown comic strip I saw once where Charlie Brown was asked "What is security". He replies, "security is knowing you won't be called on to recite". Charlie Brown is then seen going to Linus' to ask the same question to which Linus answers "security is having a blanket and a thumb". Charlie Brown goes on to find out what his good old pal Snoopy , would say. Snoopy leans on Charlie Brown's shoulder to which the caption goes on to say "Security is having someone to lean on". Charlie Brown concluded that security meant different things to different people.

As I look back on my life I would describe myself as being "insecure" and trying desperately to create a sense of security. As Snoopy would've put it, security was having people to "lean on". The more friends I had around me the better it was, I thought.

My first eight years of schooling I had many friends. Everyone came from a farm and went to the same church. When I went to high school no longer were there people around me whom I knew to lean on for a sense of approval. I didn't feel secure in the situations so I tried making friends. I found myself trying so hard to make friends that I'd give answers to assignments to anyone who would come and talk to me thinking it would be a start of a friendship.

But all through high school I'd be so busy trying to be and do what others asked of me that I found myself compromising my values and morals I was brought up with. For example, I'd go out drinking because my peers did and when they asked me to go -- how could I turn them down? And yet I wasn't being totally accepted, I'd find myself alone. I refused to accept the fact that my friends weren't perfect because they were all I had to lean on for security.

Naturally, this "people pleasing" game continued when I went to university. I wanted to be friends with my flatmate seeing I had to live with her. So whatever she'd do, I'd do. I also; wanted to be with my friend Sandy and when she asked me if I'd go with her to a Christian organisation I went with her gladly. What I observed there was something I really liked. The people didn't seem fake. And for once I didn't have to try to make friends. In fact people came to me and wanted to know who I was. They made me feel comfortable.

My lifestyle was like a pendulum. Part of the week I'd go with the girls on the floor and other times I'd go with Sandy and her friends. I started to get frustrated. I was being torn. What group would I put my security in? I went to one girl in the dorm to give me a little insight. She told me God's perspective.

She told me that God loved me now, right where I was and that He wanted to be my best friend. He would never make me do something I didn't want to do, but allowed me to be free. I now realised what I had done at age 14. At church I had always heard of Jesus and His death to pay for my sins. One Sunday I asked Jesus Christ into my heart as my Lord and Saviour. But through the years no one showed me that I could rely on God and His promises. No matter what I do, His promise will stand true. One real special promise in the Bible is where Jesus says "I will never leave you nor forsake you".

By having the greatness of God's love pointed out to me my life took a big turn. I no longer felt bound to pleasing every person I came in contact with. I felt free and secure to make my own decisions.

I need to mention that this sense of security in God has been a process. It hasn't been anything I have done.

Knowing God loves and accepts me, I don't have to depend on other people's love and acceptance. I can now feel secure. For example, God has given me the boldness to talk with you -- something I would not have done before I became convinced of God's acceptance. He truly has given me a purpose and direction in life which makes me secure.